


Borrowed Time

by mistygayy



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, bechloe is background couple ok, honestly it's kind of oc centric and then staubrey centric???, i have no idea what to tag this as though, maybe???, oh look im back on my bullshit, time travel?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24093850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistygayy/pseuds/mistygayy
Summary: Alexandria "Alex" Posen-Conrad doesn't believe in shooting stars, but when she quietly wishes on one to see her late mother one more time, she wakes up somewhere familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. Maybe this is a chance to fix something that should have never happened.
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell (mentioned/background), Stacie Conrad/Aubrey Posen
Comments: 28
Kudos: 95





	1. All That I Know is I'm Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> yes hello im trying to get my creative juices flowing so i can finish fics. anyway before you get scared by the "Major character death" please note that this fic has a happy ending okay? jUST BEAR WITH ME~
> 
> This should be a 3 or 4 shot. and i will fucking finish it if it kills me

It had been three years since Alexandria’s world came to a mind shattering halt, three years since she’d last seen her mother alive. Three fucking years of trying to be there for her other mother and keep herself together. 

Three years and her chest still ached like it had the moment the doctor had come out of surgery to tell them that her mother hadn’t survived. Her other mother had immediately broken down, legs buckling beneath her as her aunt Beca quickly moved to catch her. But Alex had gone numb, felt all the blood rush to her ears until she could see the doctor’s lips moving but no sound could be heard. She had barely registered her aunt Chloe’s arms wrapping around her. 

She didn’t cry. Not until the day of the funeral. She couldn’t find anything to wear, nothing seemed appropriate. There were clothes strewn about her normally tidy room, and the moment she’d turned to see the mess, everything seemed to hit her all at once. Anger and sadness mixed together to make a volatile cocktail until it was expressed in a violent way. The only thing Alex could ever recall from that moment was sobbing into her other mother’s chest, surrounded by the remains of her broken vanity mirror and swollen knuckles. 

Alex remembered clinging to her mom’s shirt, Stacie’s long brown hair like a curtain around their faces as she pressed their foreheads together, whispering gentle words of comfort until Alex managed to stop hyperventilating. 

She’d been sixteen when Aubrey had died, and that first year had been brutal to her. School and personal relationships had fallen to the wayside for Alex. She’d nearly had to repeat a grade, and her relationship with her girlfriend, Madison almost didn’t survive it. But Madison had been patient, if not a little persistant. (She was a Beale, so that wasn’t all that surprising.)

But three years later, she and Madison were still going strong, despite going off to different colleges. Alex was currently back home from college, though-- needing to be near her mom. They’d started a tradition during that first year. They’d visit Aubrey’s grave and bring her flowers, and then go home and order take out, spending the rest of the night on the couch together. 

//

Alex sighs as she pushes open the door, groceries in hand. “Mamma?” Alex calls, grunting as she shuts the door with her foot. “Mamma! A little help, here?!” She calls out again, lugging the groceries into the kitchen. She hears the sliding glass door in the dining room slide open. 

“Alex, that you?” She calls back, closing the door behind her. After a moment, her mother appears from around the corner, a sheepish look on her face as she notes all the groceries and Alex’s annoyed face. “Oh, sorry, kiddo. I was out back. I hear there’s going to be a meteor shower tonight.” Stacie moves to help put the groceries up. “I was thinking, maybe you and I lay out in the backyard and watch the stars.”

Alex feels a knot forming in her chest at the thought, knowing what today is and the memory that comes unbidden. _‘Mommy! D’you wanna go watch the stars with me an’ mamma?’ Six year old Alex asked excitedly. Aubrey smiled warmly and scooped her up. ‘I’d love to, baby’._ She clears her throat and nods. “Yeah, that sounds nice. After dinner, maybe?” 

Stacie gives a soft nod back, clearly lost in her own memories. 

//

The stars are bright as Alex lays next to her mother on a thick blanket. And the meteor shower makes the sky look even brighter. It’s beautiful, and the part of her that wonders if there’s life after death thinks-- _hopes_ that maybe it’s Aubrey’s doing. Of course she knows it’s a silly thought, a mere coincidence that the shower happens to be on the same day that Aubrey died, but she just… God, she wants to see her again, feel her arms wrap around her in a hug. 

“Do you believe in the afterlife?” Alex asks suddenly, breaking their companionable silence. 

Stacie turns her head to look at Alex, offers a little shrug. “I don’t know. I’d like to think so. Surely our consciousness doesn’t just disappear. Why, do you?”

Alex frowns. “No. I think--” She swallows thickly, emotion suddenly welling up inside her. “I think once we’re gone, we’re gone.”

To Alex’s surprise, Stacie laughs. It’s watery, and sad and it makes Alex’s heart clench. Stacie suddenly reaches out for Alex’s hand. “God,” She says on an exhale, her eyes boring into the side of Alex’s head. “You’re so much like her.” She squeezes Alex’s hand. “And you look just like her.” 

Alex feels her throat burn with tears that she tries furiously to blink back. “I’m-- I’m sorry.” She says softly, chest tight and grip loosening on her mother’s hand. 

“Why?” Stacie asks, confused. 

“That I--” Alex swallows again, tears escaping. “That I remind you of her so much. I don’t mean to make you sad.” 

  
  


Suddenly, her mother is hovering over her, and pulling her up into a sitting position. “Oh, _kiddo_.” She wraps her arms around Alex and tucks her head under Stacie’s chin. “That’s not-- that’s not what I meant by that.” Her fingers trail up and down Alex’s arm. “I love that you’re just like her, that you take after her so much. It fills me with pride. Your mom was-- she was the strongest person I knew.” Stacie presses a kiss to Alex’s temple. “And you taking after her means I still have a little piece of her to hold onto.” 

By now, Alex was full on crying, her fingers gripping tightly to her mother’s shirt. “I--I miss her so much!” She chokes out, burying her face into Stacie’s neck. “When-- when does it stop hurting?” 

Stacie sighs softly, her hold on Alex tightening, as if trying to hold the young woman together. “It doesn’t kid. You just learn to carry it. And you’ll have your good days and your bad days, where it feels just as raw as it does right now-- as it did when it happened, but it won’t always feel like this.” 

They settle back down on the blanket once Alex calms down, but she keeps close to her mother, head resting in the crook of Stacie’s arm as Stacie plays with her long, blonde tresses. 

Alex sighs and stares up at the shooting stars in the sky, her eyes drooping slightly as exhaustion starts to creep up on her. “I just wish I could see her again,” She mumbles softly as another star streaks across the sky, just before her eyes droop closed. 


	2. When I'm Gone, You'll Need Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet, here i am again same day. someone mark the calendars. im a trash goblin and i didnt proof read. heres part 2~ this chapter is longer than the first. (hope it makes up for the ending << )

Alex jolts awake, disoriented. Something isn’t right. “Mamma?” She shivers as a cold wind cuts through her thin jacket. Why was she cold? It was summer, or it was supposed to be. Alex finally opens her eyes fully, rubbing away the sleep. “Mamma why didn’t you--” Fear suddenly takes hold of her, as she realizes she’s no longer in her backyard. 

She stumbles to her feet and exhales shakily, watching as her breath clings to the cold air. “What the fuck?” ‘ _ Don’t panic… _ ’ She thinks, looking around. There’s some relief that washes over her as she recognizes the neighborhood. She’s only a few houses down from her childhood home, but there’s still a feeling of fear and confusion of how she got out here in the first place. ‘ _ Did I sleepwalk? I’ve never done that before… _ ’

Alex walks slowly down the sidewalk, pulling her thin jacket tighter around herself. Just last night it was 75 degrees, but now it felt as if it had dropped to the 30s. She shivers as she comes up to her driveway only to stop dead in her tracks. 

  
  


Something like ice shoots through her veins and she’s sure her heart skips a few beats. There, in the driveway sits two cars, both of them she hadn’t seen in years. Stacie had a blue Toyota Prius for the longest time, until she upgraded after selling Aubrey’s car… Her Toyota Rav4, black-- with the ding in the side; the one currently parked in her driveway. Alex suddenly feels sick as she stares at the car, unable to fathom what she’s seeing. 

After Aubrey died, Stacie had asked Alex if she wanted her mother’s car-- but Alex had refused, still angry at the world and stubborn, afraid to be around anything that would remind her of Aubrey. “No reason to panic-- this is--- it’s a coincidence. You’re fine, everything is okay.” Alex says under her breath, trying to get her feet to move. 

The door suddenly opens and without thinking, Alex dives behind a bush, peaking over it subtly. All the air leaves her chest as a familiar looking blonde headed woman walks out to the mailbox, a thick robe wrapped around her. “Okay, now it’s time to panic,” She whispers, feeling numb. 

The door closes as Aubrey Posen goes back inside. Alex’s knees buckle and she crashes to the damp dirt behind the shrubs, chest tight and a myriad of emotions swirling through her. Before she can even think to try and wrap her head around the situation, she bursts into tears. Big, wracking sobs that have her gasping for air, unsure of how to even begin to comprehend what was happening. 

‘ _ Stop crying! _ ’ She berates herself, wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her jacket. ‘ _ You’re fine you’re fine you’re fine, you’re fucking fine. _ ’ She repeats the words like a mantra in her mind, until her breathing evens out and it feels less like she’s inhaling glass. Her fingers are numb and her face feels chapped from the cold. God, she hadn’t had a panic attack like that in a long time. Her stomach rolls and she immediately places a hand on her stomach in an attempt to settle it. “You’re fine.” She says out loud, voice stern and resolute. 

Alex runs a shaking hand through her blonde hair, takes a few more deep breaths and stands. “Okay, what’s the last thing you remember?” She asks herself, arms crossing and a soft pout forming. “I--I fell asleep in Mamma’s arms, and then… I woke up here… Which is… where, exactly?” She shivered again, the cold air really starting to get to her. Alex stares back at the house before a thought occurs to her. “I wished I could see her again,” She says softly, eyes beginning to water again. “But-- but this can’t be real. I’m-- I’m clearly having some sort of psychotic break. Or, maybe it’s a really vivid dream.” She huffs slightly, pushing another strand of blonde hair out of her face. “I guess the only thing to do is to… knock on the door?” 

She shrugged slightly to herself, what else could she do other than knock on the door? She was freezing and if this was a dream (or maybe she’d gone crazy-- regardless...), shouldn’t she indulge herself?

Decision made, Alex takes a tentative step toward the house, and by the time she reaches the front door, she’s shaking all over; whether it be from the cold or her anxiety, she didn’t know. Her hand trembles as she reaches out to knock on the door. 

The door swings open and Stacie stands in front of her, but she’s at least 20 or so years younger. She looks Alex up and down and her brows furrow slightly. “Hey, babe! Do you have a sister or something that I don’t know about?” She calls behind her, before directing her attention back to Alex. “You okay, kiddo? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or maybe that you might be sick.” 

Through the cacophony of emotions Alex feels, she manages a nervous smile at the term of endearment, chest warming at the familiarness of it all. But then she hears Aubrey’s voice. “What are you talking about? I have two brothers.” She says, her footfalls growing closer as Alex tries to find her voice. 

Stacie is staring hard at her until Aubrey comes up beside her. “I mean-- this kid looks just like you,” She gestures to Alex, who mentally screams at herself to fucking say something! But the moment Aubrey steps fully into the doorway, Alex’s knees go weak and she stumbles slightly, only just managing to catch herself. “Whoa, easy.” Stacie’s arms go out, prepared to catch her. 

Aubrey frowns. “Who is she?” 

Stacie shrugs. “Not sure, she hasn’t said a word. Can you talk? Is there someone you can call?” 

Alex swallows back a new wave of tears. “W-what uhm--- what year is it?” She asks, voice hitching as she tries not to stare at her mother. 

“It’s 2021. Sweetheart, are you okay? Did you hit your head?” Aubrey’s voice is full of concern, but Alex can see the slight suspicion behind her worried gaze. 

2021, that meant Aubrey was at least 30, 31-- “W-what month is it, what day?” 

Both women frown as Alex tries her best to stay upright, arms wrapping around herself. “February the 21st,” Stacie replies gently, staring at her curiously. 

‘ _ February 21st… So, I haven’t been born yet… but that means mom must be pregnant with me. _ ’ Alex’s eyes drop down to Aubrey’s flat stomach for a brief moment before bringing them back to the two women in front of her-- not yet her moms. 

“Maybe you should come inside, it’s cold and you’re crying--” Aubrey starts, opening the door wider. 

“Crying?” Alex reaches up to touch her face and feels fresh tears. “Huh, I didn’t notice…” They both stare at her worriedly so Alex clears her throat and swipes away the tears quickly. “I--I’m fine. I’m uh-- I’m sorry for bothering you I just-- uhm--” She just what? “I think I’m lost and-- I’m not sure how I--how I got here,”  _ Understatement of the fucking year…  _

Stacie gently reaches out to take her arm. “Do you need a ride to the hospital?” 

“NO!” Alex says quickly, arm jerking back. “I mean--- I mean no, I just uhm… if I could just get warm, I think I’d be less foggy.” 

Aubrey and Stacie share a look, communicating silently with their eyes. The sight has her lips curling slightly. Both of her mothers, together and safe and sickeningly sweet; she’d missed seeing that. 

After a moment, Aubrey steps aside and Stacie holds one hand out as if to catch Alex should she stumble. “The living room is just to the right.” Aubrey says, still just the slightest bit of suspicion in her voice. ‘ _ I know, mom… _ ’ Alex thinks sadly as she walks on unsteady legs to the couch and collapses. 

Aubrey had headed straight for the kitchen to fetch Alex a cup of hot chocolate, while Stacie sat and watched her closely. Alex nearly squirms under the scrutiny. “I don’t think we ever really introduced ourselves, kiddo. I’m Stacie and that tall drink of water in the kitchen is my wife, Aubrey.” 

Alex can’t help it, she chuckles softly at Stacie’s words, her lips curving in a soft smile. Stacie quirks a brow, still seeming to study her like one of her astronomy books. But then a thought occurs to her; ‘ _ Should I tell them my name? What are the rules of time travel? Is this time travel? Fuck, my head hurts. _ ’ 

“This is generally the part where you say, ‘nice to meet you, my name is so and so.” Stacie prompts a little playfully. 

Smiling again, Alex runs a hand through her hair. “Sorry, guess I’m a little spacey. My name’s Alex, it’s nice to meet you. Also, I really appreciate you letting me warm up.”

Stacie continues to watch her carefully, but smiles gently at her gratitude. “It’s no problem. Not to be rude, but how old are you?”

“Oh, uhm I’m 19.” Slowly, Alex begins to relax, but the soft humming from the kitchen sets her on edge again. 

“Mm,” Stacie makes a soft noise of acknowledgement. “I’m gonna go see if Aubrey needs help. Just a sec.” A moment later, Alex hears quiet talking coming from the kitchen. 

“This is weird,” She hears Stacie whisper. 

“What is?” 

“Oh my god, do you not see it?” Stacie sounds disbelieving. “She looks just like you! The hair, the eyes, the nose and lips. I’ve even caught her doing some of your mannerisms.” 

“What mannerisms?!” Alex winses at Aubrey’s harsh whisper. 

“That little pout that you do, the frown and the way you furrow your brow when you’re confused or upset.” 

Alex feels like her heart is going to explode out of her chest. Her eyes dart across the room, taking note of all the familiar things she remembers; the photos and knickknacks. She stands suddenly, moving toward the bookshelf, eyes roving over them when she frowns. A few of them are out of order, and without thought, she starts pulling them out and stacking them on the armchair. 

“Whatcha doin’, kiddo?” Stacie asks cautiously. 

Alex lets out a startled squeak and turns, cheeks burning crimson. “Uhm, y-your books were-- and I was arranging them alphabetically.” 

Stacie quirks a brow and turns just slightly to her wife, giving her a  _ look _ . Aubrey, for her part, just sets two mugs of hot chocolate down on the coffee table, pointedly ignoring that look. 

“I’m sorry-- I’m uh-- I’m almost done--” She turns quickly and slides in the last few books, feeling slightly relieved when she steps back to look over the books. “Thanks for the hot chocolate.” Alex takes a mug and sits back down on the couch. 

“So Alex,” Stacie starts, sitting casually in an armchair. “Is that short for something?” 

Aubrey shoots her wife a look from her seat on the far end of the couch. Alex sets her mug down on a coaster before letting it fall subtly on her suddenly sour stomach. “Uh, yes.” She says carefully, eyes dropping to her lap. 

Stacie looks like she’s going to ask her to elaborate, but Aubrey cuts her off. “Are you in college?”

Alex exhales slowly and tries to offer Aubrey a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She wonders if Aubrey would be proud of her, proud of the choices she’d made so far. “Yeah, I’m going to my parents alma mater!” She replies, a hint of pride in her voice. 

“And where’s that?” Aubrey asks curiously, taking a sip of her own hot chocolate. 

Alex suddenly deflates slightly, hands sweating. “Uhm-- Barden University.” She hedges, the hand on her stomach clenching slightly as her nausea grows. “Look, I should probably go-- I didn’t mean to bother you guys.” She stands quickly, ignoring their surprised faces. 

She starts to move toward the door, but Stacie stands and grabs her hand. “Hold on a second, kid.” Panic is quickly setting in, and Alex starts to feel closed in. Stacie gently turns Alex around, her stern look quickly melting into one of concern as she seems to take in Alex’s tears and shallow breathing. “Hey, it’s okay--”

“No! No, it’s not! I--I shouldn’t be here! I can’t--” She yanks her arm away and runs her fingers through her hair. “I don’t-- I don’t know how to get back home!” Her chest heaves and the bile rises to her throat. A hand flies to her mouth and she darts down the familiar hallways and hangs a right, blindly reaching for the light before she drops to her knees in front of the toilet. 

There’s nothing in her stomach, of course; nothing but stomach acid and hot chocolate. She sobs in between dry heaves, her body shaking so bad she almost doesn’t notice that someone is holding back her hair. 

When she’s sure that nothing else is going to come up, she reaches up and flushes, but doesn’t move from her spot. Someone’s rubbing small circles in her back, and she doesn’t have to look to know it’s her mom-- that it’s  _ Aubrey _ . They weren’t her parents yet. There’s a tense silence, before Stacie reaches down to hand Alex some water. “How’d you know where the bathroom was?” 

Alex stiffens, the question isn’t exactly accusatory, but she can hear the wariness in her voice. “Lucky guess,” Alex croaks, voice raw. She takes a slow sip of her water and curls further into herself as best as she can. Aubrey’s touch hurts her more than it helps. Not physically of course, but with every touch, Alex’s heart clenches inside her chest. She wants nothing more than to throw her arms around Aubrey and cry. 

“Pretty lucky guess,” Stacie says, folding her arms over her chest. “Who are you?”

“Stacie, seriously-- maybe we should give her a second--” 

Alex takes a shuddering breath, a new wave of tears falling down her cheeks. “I guess I’m screwed either way-- I don’t know how to get home… Even if you believe me.” She sniffs and swipes at her tears. “My name is Alexandria Claire Posen-Conrad, and I’m your daughter.” 


	3. You Anchor Me Back Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen guys i know ive sent you on an emotional roller coaster, all five of you. lmao. but it still gets better~
> 
> BIG THANK YOU TO BELLA FOR BEING A FUCKING GENIUS! Thanks for your input and continuous support!
> 
> This is a long chapter. I think-- it feels long. Idk, but i feel like this is really getting my creativity back.
> 
> oh and as per usge, I did not proof read-- well i kinda skimmed it, but the point is-- all mistakes are my own.

A solid two minutes goes by before anyone breaks the silence. In those two minutes, Aubrey had managed to stand up and take a few steps back, a blank stare on her face. Stacie is looking at her as if she’d just sprouted two more heads; which, she supposes the bomb she just dropped might as well be as wild as that turn of phrase. 

Alex stands slowly, setting her cup of water on the bathroom counter. She swallows thickly, daring to meet either of their gazes. 

“Okay,” Stacie starts, a look of disbelief on her face. “What -- and I can’t stress this enough -- the absolute fuck?” 

Aubrey looks like she might be sick. “That’s literally impossible, because for one thing, time travel or-- however you claim to have gotten here -- it doesn’t exist! And two,” The blonde holds up two fingers, emphasizing her point. “We don’t have kids!” 

A sudden burst of anger (or was it desperation?) surges through Alex, and she frowns (nearly mirroring Aubrey’s own facial expression) deeply. “Not now, but you will!” She says, crossing her arms. “You’re pregnant right now, aren’t you?” Her confidence suddenly plummets as she considers the possibility that maybe she was wrong. 

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I can’t have kids.” Aubrey snaps back. 

Stacie places a comforting hand on Aubrey’s shoulder before bringing her angry gaze to Alex. She’d been on the receiving end of those looks before (rarely), and they didn’t deter her. “Yes you can,” Alex implores, hands clenching under her folded arms. “That last IVF took! You just don’t know it, yet-- it’s too early.” 

Alex knew this to be true-- her parents had often said she was their lucky, little miracle baby. After a few failed attempts, they’d learned that Aubrey’s uterus was ‘hostile’ and there was a very low chance of a fetus surviving. But they were surprised a few weeks after their last treatment, when Aubrey started getting sick. Stacie had run out and bought a pregnancy test, saying she ‘ _ had a feeling’ _ , and Aubrey had been skeptical. Stacie had told Alex that she was just too stubborn not to be born. 

“Y-you’ve been feeling sick, lately-- haven’t you? Nauseous and tired?” Alex starts, watching as Aubrey’s facial expression changes slowly from frustration to something between fear and hesitance. A little ball of hope sprouts at the pit of Alex’s stomach. Maybe she’s getting somewhere! “Look, I’m 19 and I was born November the 2nd, 2021 at 5 am. Literally right on my due date.” 

Stacie used to make jokes about how Alex had liked to be punctual and had been on time for everything since the day she was born. An obvious exaggeration, but Alex hated to be late. 

“That doesn’t prove anything, Alex.” Stacie says sternly, and Alex winces at the absence of Stacie’s usual term of endearment for her. “You could be making that up!” 

Alex lets out a frustrated groan and pinches the bridge of her nose, missing the slightly startled look on Stacie’s face, because it was such an Aubrey move. “Okay, can we like-- move this out of the bathroom? I need-- I need space.” 

When nobody moves, Alex sighs. “Oh my god, I’m not like-- an ax murderer. Please, I need space.”

She watches as Aubrey and Stacie share a glance before they step aside. Alex huffs and moves past them and heads straight for the living room. She feels marginally better in the open space, less like the walls were closing in. Stacie and Aubrey follow her, but nobody sits. 

Alex starts to pace, her mind racing as she tries to come up with some sort of proof. After a moment, she pauses and turns to face them. “Okay, okay-- I know all about you guys,” She points a finger at Aubrey. “Your full name is Aubrey Faith Posen, you were born April 10th, 1989 in a backwards ass town in Virginia. You have two brothers, Will and Andrew.” The look on their faces would be priceless if Alex wasn’t so desperate for them to believe her. 

She brings her gaze to Stacie. “Anastasia Rose Conrad, born February 13th, 1992 in North Carolina, but your parents moved to Georgia when you were 2. You guys met at Barden University and were a part of an all girls acapella team; the Barden Bellas. You guys pined after each other for years-- at least, that’s what aunt Beca told me.” She waits, staring at them as they both stare at her in shock. “Ask me anything you want! I could show you around your own house, too if you like!” She holds her hands out challengingly, nostrils flaring as she works to control her breathing. 

Slowly, the shocked look falls from Stacie’s face as she stares Alex down. Aubrey takes a seat on the couch, clearly trying to wrap her head around everything, or maybe trying to decide on whether Alex was telling the truth. Stacie seems to be contemplating something, arms crossed. 

“Name each of the Bellas,” Stacie challenges. 

Alex rolls her eyes. “Besides the two of you?” She grins slightly before naming each and every Bella. 

“But that can be googled, hypothetically-- you could probably find all of that information on the internet.” Aubrey says, an edge to her voice. ‘ _ Damn, thought I had mom-- I mean Aubrey questioning it _ ’ 

  
  


Sighing, Alex scowels down at her ballet flat covered feet. Even if she got them to believe her, what then? What was the point of all this? Why was she here? She’d technically gotten what she wished for-- she’d gotten to see Aubrey-- her mother again, but it hurt more than it helped. Aubrey didn’t know who she was. 

Something vibrates on the side table, breaking Alex from her thoughts. Her eyes land on a cell phone and she suddenly lights up, grinning wide. Reaching into the back pocket of her jeans, she pulls out her own cell phone. ‘ _ Please, oh please work… _ ’ She thinks, as she holds it in shaking hands. It lights up at the touch of her fingers. No signal, but that isn’t what she needs. 

Stacie and Aubrey stare at her curiously as Alex’s trembling fingers pull up her photos. She lets out a tremulous breath and then laughs. Her pictures are all still there. “Okay,” She says, voice watery with emotion as she swipes through her photos. She finds one that was taken on her 16th birthday. Alex stood between Aubrey and Stacie, a bright smile on her face. Stacie was pressing a kiss to her cheek and Aubrey had her arms wrapped around Alex’s waist. Standing side by side, it was easy to see the similarities between mother and daughter. 

Alex swallows the burn of tears as she wordlessly hands over her phone to Stacie, who takes it with furrowed brows and stares down at it. “Wha- what is this?” She asks, voice quiet. 

“It’s my sixteenth birthday,” Alex says in a voice even softer than Stacie’s. “You uhm-- there’s more on there. I’ve got tons.” She waits, watching as Stacie and Aubrey swipe through photos, their eyes growing watery. 

“This-- this is actually happening,” Aubrey looks up at Alex with a soft, yet hesitant expression. Alex nods softly. “But--but why?” Stacie is still looking through the photos. 

Alex shrugs, glancing away. “I don’t really know-- one minute I was laying in the backyard with my mamma-- er with Stacie and watching a meteor shower,” She blushes slightly, though she isn’t entirely sure why. “And then I woke up outside on the sidewalk.” 

“Who’s the redhead?” Stacie is smirking playfully, but the teasing lilt isn’t as effective with Stacie’s tearful gaze. 

Alex feels her face heat up. “Oh, uhm-- that’s Madison. She’s my best friend.”

Stacie lofts a brow as she glances back down at the photo. “Hmm, looks like she’s a little more than that. Aww, look, your face is turning bright red!” 

Aubrey studies the picture as well, before she gasps slightly. “What’s this girl’s last name?” 

“Oh my _ gooodddd _ ,” Alex groans, feeling flustered and embarrassed. “It’s Mitchell-Beale, she’s my girlfriend, okay?” She pouts in a very Aubrey like fashion. 

Aubrey chuckles softly. “I knew she looked like Chloe.” 

A glimmer of hope starts to fill Alex as she stares between the two women. “D-does that mean you believe me?” 

Stacie and Aubrey share another look, before Stacie moves to hand Alex back her phone. “There’s like 300 or more pictures that prove what you’re saying is true. I can’t imagine someone going through that sort of trouble-- plus, that phone obviously doesn’t exist, yet.” 

Aubrey blinks up at Alex, studying her and obviously looking at her in a whole new light. Alex just stares back, knowing that if she moves, she’ll rush forward and hug Aubrey. Stacie seems to be looking between them. “Jesus... I told you, Bree-- she’s like a little Posen.”

Alex’s lips quirk slightly. “I get that a lot,” 

“There! That smirk, that’s all you, babe.” Stacie grins, eyes shining. 

Aubrey still seems to be in shock, which is understandable. Alex knows Aubrey always needs time to process things, and so does Stacie as she sits down beside her and gently rubs her back. Alex stares down at her shoes, feeling a little bit uncomfortable. “So,” Aubrey finally starts, voice thick with emotion. Alex looks up. “I’m pregnant… with you?” 

Alex chuckles a little nervously. “Uhm, yes? Hope that’s alright, otherwise this already fucked up situation would be even more fucked up.” 

“Watch your language!” Aubrey chastises, frowning, while Stacie laughs beside her. 

And suddenly Alex is sixteen years old again, being scolded by Aubrey for one thing or another. “Sorry mom,” The words escape before she can think to stop them, and a rush of embarrassment soon follows. “I mean--” Her cheeks flush again. 

“No, it’s okay.” Aubrey says gently as she stands, her expression soft and open; the face her mother used to give her when Alex was upset. Her heart clenches in her chest, and suddenly she can’t stop the tears. A look of concern crosses over both women. “Alex, what’s wrong?”

Alex wraps her arms around her middle, trying to hold herself together, and perhaps to keep herself to hugging Aubrey. Now that Aubrey was looking at her like she was her daughter, and not some strange teenager, it was harder to resist. And it only serves to remind Alex that her mother isn’t back.

She stifles a sob as Aubrey and Stacie take turns glancing at each other and then Alex in concern and bewilderment. ‘ _ Screw this _ ’, She thinks. Taking a deep breath, Alex tries to calm herself down. “Uhm,” She swallows nervously, cheeks already flushing a bright pink. “This might be a weird question, but can I--” She hesitates again, watery gaze staring at Aubrey, trying to commit her concerned eyes to her memory. “Aubrey, can I hug you?” 

Aubrey’s brows furrow slightly as she looks at Stacie who shrugs helplessly. Alex waits with bated breath for Aubrey’s response, her muscles tense, and her heart tattooing itself to her chest. “Of course,” She finally responds, and the moment she tentatively opens her arms, Alex practically falls into them. 

She’s only an inch or two shorter than Aubrey, so she still fits perfectly beneath her mother’s chin if she hides her face in the other woman’s clavicle, which is exactly what she does. Aubrey’s arms are hesitant at first, but as soon as Alex’s own arms cling to her desperately, she cinches her own until they hold her tight against her. 

Alex inhales sharply, taking in her mother’s scent and then as if all the energy has left her, she sags against Aubrey. ‘ _ Mom mom mom mom. I’ve missed you so much, please don’t let go. _ ’ Those thoughts repeat over and over as her fingers fist themselves into her sweater. 

Aubrey doesn’t expect the added weight as Alex nearly goes limp, so she stumbles back slightly until Stacie is there behind her, guiding them down onto the couch. Alex refuses to let go, even as they move to the couch. Aubrey sits and Alex ends up awkwardly curling up next to her, facing the couch, with her face buried into her middle. 

If Stacie and Aubrey are talking, Alex doesn’t hear it. Her focus is solely on the gentle hands running through her hair as she cries quietly into her mother’s lap. She almost misses someone pulling her feet the rest of the way down the couch and into someone’s lap. She suspects it’s her mamma-- Stacie. 

Seconds, minutes, maybe an hour passes before Alex feels less overwhelmed, but she keeps her hold on Aubrey, determined to soak up as much affection as she can; before she eventually goes back to where Aubrey isn’t. ‘ _ If I can figure out how… _ ’

She doesn’t get to contemplate that thought for much longer, because Aubrey’s solem voice breaks through her reverie. “How old were you when I died?” The question has Alex’s body tensing. When she doesn’t immediately answer, she feels Aubrey’s hands still in her hair. “Alex…” 

Alex finally makes a move to sit up, chancing a glance at Aubrey. She’s smiling sadly at Alex, but she can see the acceptance there in her gaze; an acceptance that maybe she doesn’t get to grow old with Stacie. Alex pulls her legs from Stacie’s lap and pulls her knees to her chest, eyes drifting to Stacie, who looks as if she’s having a hard time trying not to cry. 

“When I’m--” Alex takes a breath and holds it for a second, exhale coming out shaky. She clears her throat. “I’m sixteen. Y--you uhm--” Her eyes drop down to her messy jean clad knees. “There’s a bad accident, some guy ran a redlight. You were late. I had my ballet recital that night, and mamma got the call while I was performing.” She doesn’t dare look up, knowing that if she does, she’ll break down all over again. “I looked out into the crowd, and I watched as her face went slack and I just-- I  _ knew _ …” She nearly chokes on a sob in a feeble attempt to hold it back. “You died in surgery.” Her voice sounds hollow as she finishes, still unable to tear her gaze from her knees. 

“I’m sorry,” She hears Aubrey say, voice clearly thick with tears. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” And then she feels Aubrey’s arms wrap around her again. She feels Stacie hugging her from her other side, trying to get her to stretch back out; her tears start all over again. 

“I-- I made a wish that if I could just… see you one more time…” She trails off, finally allowing Stacie to pull Alex’s legs back into her lap. Her head settles back into Aubrey’s and she sighs tiredly, emotionally drained. Her eyes slip closed as Aubrey’s hand resumes combing through her hair. “Mom?” She mumbles sleepily, her hand reaching out to fist a handful of Aubrey’s sweater. 

She misses the way Aubrey smiles down at her, but she hears the emotion in her voice as she responds, “Yes, baby?” 

Alex fights to keep her eyes open as she feels Stacie gently slip off her flats. “On December the 13th, 2037-- can you just not come to my ballet recital?” When Aubrey doesn’t immediately answer her, Alex forces her eyes open and turns awkwardly to bring her gaze to Stacie’s. It’s clear the brunette has been crying, her eyes red rimmed and her eyes sad. Alex had seen that look too many times. “Mamma, you keep her away.” She tries to sound stern, but she’s so tired. 

Aubrey gently pulls Alex back into her lap, her fingers tracing a line from her eyebrow and over her cheek. “I’ll do my best, kiddo.” Stacie finally croaks out softly. 

“You need to rest,” Aubrey reprimands, though her voice is gentle and quiet. “We’ll worry about getting you back later, just-- sleep. You’ve had an emotionally draining day.” 

Alex wants to fight to stay awake, afraid to wake up without Aubrey; but sleep pulls at her. “Mom?” Her voice sounds far away to her own ears. 

“What is it, darling?” There’s a hint of amusement in Aubrey’s voice, so a part of Alex assumes she’s probably really starting to drift. 

“I missed you.” 


	4. I Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, here's the last bit. Thanks for taking the time to comment while I dust off my writing skills. I'm rusty, but I feel more motivated. I told you it ended okay.

Consciousness comes slowly to Alex, but the first thing she notices is that she’s laying on something soft. The second thing is that her head aches and her eyes feel swollen, and then suddenly it all comes rushing back to her. 

Her eyes snap open, recognizing the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling of her childhood bedroom, the familiarity sending both a sense of dread, and relief. ‘ _ Did it even really happen? _ ’ Her mind flashes back to Aubrey -- to her mom holding her close, and suddenly she feels like there's an anvil on her chest. 

Sighing heavily, Alex rubs tiredly at her eyes, before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She glances around, taking inventory, recognizing her easel and her paints, her bookshelf and the desk in the corner; everything is as it was when she last saw it. ‘ _ I’m definitely home… _ ’ 

Alex sits there for a moment, trying to wrap her head around the fact that, she’d either had a very vivid dream, or-- she can’t consider the other option, because that just isn’t possible. She stands slowly, grimacing at how tired her muscles feel. ‘ _ All that crying and the panic attacks… _ ’ She frowns, thoughts jumping from one thing to another as she exits her bedroom, intent on finding herself a large cup of coffee and a few ibuprofen. 

She’s so focussed on putting one foot in front of the other, that she doesn’t notice the other person in the kitchen, so when a familiar voice calls out to her, she nearly trips over herself. 

“Alex, damn it-- how many times have I told you not to leave your shoes in front of the door!? I trip over them every time!” The voice calls. 

Alex’s heart seems to triple in speed and her legs move of their own volition as she rushes into the kitchen, and there, stooped to put Alex’s pink Chuck Taylors on the shoe rack is her mother. She stands, a frown on her face and her hands going akimbo. “Seriously, Alex, you know I hate that.” 

“I--I’m sorry mom,” Alex chokes out, tears quickly spilling down her cheeks. “I…” 

Aubrey’s frown morphs into a look of concern. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Are you--” Before Aubrey can finish her questions, Alex nearly tackles her in a hug tight enough to rival Chloe’s. At first, Aubrey doesn’t hug back-- likely due to the shock, but then slowly, Alex feels her arms wrap around her. “Alexandria, what’s the matter? You’re scaring me.” Her fingers brush away tangled blonde hair so that she can press a kiss to Alex’s forehead. 

The feeling sends such an overwhelming jolt of relief, that Alex’s knees nearly buckle. Alex tries to speak but the words get caught in her throat-- what could she say? Did her mother remember? Was it even  _ real _ ? Aubrey seems to understand that she’s not going to get any answers out of her daughter, so she just hugs her tighter, whispering soft reasurances. “You’re okay, sweet girl _. _ I’m here.” 

‘ _ Yes, you are. _ ’ Alex thinks, a small smile curving her lips despite herself. They stand there like that for a few more minutes, Alex clinging to Aubrey like the older woman will float away if she lets go. Finally, Alex pulls back and meets her mother’s gaze, green eyes tracing over her features; laugh lines prominent in the corners of her eyes and mouth, nearly 20 years older than she’d been yesterday (if that was even real), but still as beautiful. And most importantly,  _ alive _ . 

Aubrey’s brows knit in obvious bewilderment, clearly confused by Alex’s sudden mood shift. She meets her daughter’s gaze, but doesn’t speak as she holds her at her elbows. Wiping away the last of her tears, Alex smiles. “I just-- I really love you, mom.” She says with a watery laugh. 

Her mother’s hands come up to cup Alex’s face, thumbs gently running over the apple of her cheeks as she stares into her daughter’s eyes. There’s a soft, yet unreadable look on her face, like maybe she’s remembering something or trying to speak without words, but then she smiles something loving as she brings Alex in to kiss her forehead. “I love you too, sweetie.” 

Alex feels like she might start crying again, so she blinks a few times and takes a steady breath. ‘ _ Everything’s okay… you’re fine. And mom is… alive. _ ’ Shaking her head, she sniffs. “I could really use a cup of coffee.” 

Aubrey quirks a brow, but takes the topic change for what it is and nods. “You better make it a quick cup, Beca and Chloe are going to be here at noon. You’ve still got to shower and get dressed.” She says in a no nonsense tone, reaching up for a large mug to make Alex’s cup. 

“Uhm, why?” 

Placing the mug in Alex’s awaiting hands, Aubrey gives her a curious look, as if Alex should clearly know why. “It’s not often you and Madison are back home at the same time, we’d like to spend some time together. We’ve had this planned for a few weeks, now.” 

Lips forming a soft ‘Oh’, Alex blinks before nodding. “Right, I uh-- I remember now.” She takes a sip of her coffee and takes a moment to watch as her mother moves to the fridge and starts taking out ingredients for whatever she’s decided to make for their apparent lunch. A thought occurs to her though, a small niggling of worry. “Where’s mamma?” 

Aubrey looks over her shoulder as she reaches for a block of cheese. “Last minute shopping. I told her to take the list I made her yesterday when she went the first time, but she said -- and I quote -- ‘ _ I don’t need a stupid list, you’re married to a genius. I think I can remember a few grocery items, babe. _ ’” Her mother says in a terrible, overdramatic impression of Stacie. “And then she proceeded to forget literally like five items on the list! She never listens to me!” 

Alex giggles into her coffee, heart warm and light. “Because you’re always right?” 

Her mother turns to grin at her. “You said it, not me.” 

//

Freshly showered, Alex sits at her vanity and french braids her hair, taking in the seemingly perpetual smile on her face. She doesn’t think she’s felt this happy in a long time. 

“HONEY, I’M HOME!!” A voice shouts from downstairs. Alex chuckles at the sound of her girlfriend’s voice 

And then a quieter voice, full of mock disdain. “Jesus christ, why don’t you ever knock? She gets that from you, Chloe. Literally no boundaries.”

“Aww, Becs, but you love us!” 

The bickering gets quieter as they presumably head into the kitchen to find her moms. But the footsteps on the stairs tell her that Madison is on her way up. Her theory is proved right when her door bursts open and a bright eyed, grinning redhead stands in the doorway. 

Alex meets her gaze through the mirror before she turns and stands up. Madison holds open her arms, fingers wiggling. “C’mere!” And Alex doesn’t have to be told twice, she moves into Madison’s awaiting arms and hugs the shorter girl tight. “I missed you, babe. I know we saw each other last weekend, but five days is a long time!” She complains into Alex’s neck. 

Taking a moment to just revel in her girlfriend’s warmth, Alex sighs softly. Downstairs, she can hear her mamma and Beca arguing about something, and Chloe’s light teasing, and her mom’s soft laughter. She grins, pressing a kiss to the top of Madison’s head, welcoming the light, happy feeling in her chest. “Are you okay, Alex?” Madison asks after a moment, seeming to be intune with Alex’s emotions. 

Pulling back, Alex takes a steady breath. “I’ve got a weird story to tell you. I don’t think you’re going to believe it. I’m not even sure I do.”

Maddie tilts her head curiously, before tugging Alex over to the bed so they can sit. “I’m all ears, babe. Tell me.”

And so Alex does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally gonna write all of them together, but I didn't want to attempt to try and write that many characters at a time. :P I hope yall liked it anyway.
> 
> help me to continue getting back into the writing scene and prompt me over @incredibeale if you'd like (:
> 
> Also... yall think Aubrey remembers?


End file.
